Physical Pain vs Emotional Pain

My physical pain is a better today! My emotional pain is still strong.

Emotional pain is almost harder for me to deal with than the physical pain. My emotions take over sometimes. It is really hard to shake them most times, because of my flashbacks. My therapist gave me the name of a book he wants me to read. It is called Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. He wants me to read the whole thing and especially Chapter 8, because it has Steps on how to deal with flashbacks. Hopefully the book will help me and my flashbacks.

Published by Sunshine

I am a survivor! I want to help victims and other survivors heal with the resources I used, my experiences and my successes. I want you to know you are not alone! C-PTSD is real and for the most part unseen when you look at me! After I was diagnosed it was a wow moment and made most of my life make sense. I was also diagnosed with general anxiety, ADHD with dyslexia, Hypoglycemia and OCD. All of these can complicate each other. I wish I would have been diagnosed when I was a kid and not at 50 years old. If it wasn’t for my husbands incredible insurance I believe I would still be struggling with not knowing why I felt the way I did and do inside. After my kids were out of the house and I no longer had them to take care of daily and I had more alone time, all of the above came to life in a big way. Don’t get me wrong it effected my kids in a big way also, but I didn’t see it until it was too late. Now I am slowly trying to rebuild and gain their trust back. If I had one do over wish, it would be to remove all the emotional abuse, traumatic situations and stresses I caused them! I got remarried yet again. I got married to my very resilient loving husband Kenny on December 21, 2016. It has been a struggle for both of us to deal with my C-PTSD. My biggest fear is yet again being abandoned emotionally and/or physically again because of the lack of understanding of my disabilities. We have gone through a few counselors, church counseling and have finally found one for me that is helping and not hindering because they didn’t truly understand how C-PTSD effects every aspect of your life especially your relationships. I got my service dog Mayze(Mayzee) April 16, 2017, she was 11 weeks old and started training at 13 weeks after we had bonded really well. She is a half European and half American Great Dane. My husband trained her to detect and alert me for my Hypoglycemia and I trained her with what I needed for my C-PTSD. There is a rare time that you won’t see Mayze and I together. The end of December 2018, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and she is learning yet another skill to help me. It is very discouraging that having a service dog has become the new fad and people buy a vest off the internet just so they can take their dogs into stores and other places pets can’t go. I will put more information on my service dog page regarding this sad issue. I want to become an advocate not only for people with real Service Dogs, but also for businesses.

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