I used to think that my mental conditions defined who I was! I now know that they are what I have and not who I am. Yes my daily life is a struggle at times and I know I will always have struggles. As I learn more about those struggles they seem to become a little easier and a little more tolerable to deal with. I used to think mindfulness was stupid and now I think of it as part of my learning curve. It helps me stay in the moment and to be aware of when my past experiences/flashbacks start to creep into my present experiences. It is definitely not easy and that is why it is part of my learning curve because I am always learning more ways to help my self and my struggles not be as hard. I also have learned through my support groups that I am not alone in my struggles!
If you need someone to talk to please feel free to email me at domesticviolenceptsd@gmail.com. I will always respond!
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Published by Sunshine
I am a survivor! I want to help victims and other survivors heal with the resources I used, my experiences and my successes. I want you to know you are not alone!
C-PTSD is real and for the most part unseen when you look at me! After I was diagnosed it was a wow moment and made most of my life make sense. I was also diagnosed with general anxiety, ADHD with dyslexia, Hypoglycemia and OCD. All of these can complicate each other. I wish I would have been diagnosed when I was a kid and not at 50 years old. If it wasn’t for my husbands incredible insurance I believe I would still be struggling with not knowing why I felt the way I did and do inside.
After my kids were out of the house and I no longer had them to take care of daily and I had more alone time, all of the above came to life in a big way. Don’t get me wrong it effected my kids in a big way also, but I didn’t see it until it was too late. Now I am slowly trying to rebuild and gain their trust back. If I had one do over wish, it would be to remove all the emotional abuse, traumatic situations and stresses I caused them!
I got remarried yet again. I got married to my very resilient loving husband Kenny on December 21, 2016. It has been a struggle for both of us to deal with my C-PTSD. My biggest fear is yet again being abandoned emotionally and/or physically again because of the lack of understanding of my disabilities. We have gone through a few counselors, church counseling and have finally found one for me that is helping and not hindering because they didn’t truly understand how C-PTSD effects every aspect of your life especially your relationships.
I got my service dog Mayze(Mayzee) April 16, 2017, she was 11 weeks old and started training at 13 weeks after we had bonded really well. She is a half European and half American Great Dane. My husband trained her to detect and alert me for my Hypoglycemia and I trained her with what I needed for my C-PTSD. There is a rare time that you won’t see Mayze and I together.
The end of December 2018, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and she is learning yet another skill to help me.
It is very discouraging that having a service dog has become the new fad and people buy a vest off the internet just so they can take their dogs into stores and other places pets can’t go. I will put more information on my service dog page regarding this sad issue. I want to become an advocate not only for people with real Service Dogs, but also for businesses.
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