Kindness

Please enjoy this poem, “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Published by Sunshine

I am a survivor! I want to help victims and other survivors heal with the resources I used, my experiences and my successes. I want you to know you are not alone! C-PTSD is real and for the most part unseen when you look at me! After I was diagnosed it was a wow moment and made most of my life make sense. I was also diagnosed with general anxiety, ADHD with dyslexia, Hypoglycemia and OCD. All of these can complicate each other. I wish I would have been diagnosed when I was a kid and not at 50 years old. If it wasn’t for my husbands incredible insurance I believe I would still be struggling with not knowing why I felt the way I did and do inside. After my kids were out of the house and I no longer had them to take care of daily and I had more alone time, all of the above came to life in a big way. Don’t get me wrong it effected my kids in a big way also, but I didn’t see it until it was too late. Now I am slowly trying to rebuild and gain their trust back. If I had one do over wish, it would be to remove all the emotional abuse, traumatic situations and stresses I caused them! I got remarried yet again. I got married to my very resilient loving husband Kenny on December 21, 2016. It has been a struggle for both of us to deal with my C-PTSD. My biggest fear is yet again being abandoned emotionally and/or physically again because of the lack of understanding of my disabilities. We have gone through a few counselors, church counseling and have finally found one for me that is helping and not hindering because they didn’t truly understand how C-PTSD effects every aspect of your life especially your relationships. I got my service dog Mayze(Mayzee) April 16, 2017, she was 11 weeks old and started training at 13 weeks after we had bonded really well. She is a half European and half American Great Dane. My husband trained her to detect and alert me for my Hypoglycemia and I trained her with what I needed for my C-PTSD. There is a rare time that you won’t see Mayze and I together. The end of December 2018, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and she is learning yet another skill to help me. It is very discouraging that having a service dog has become the new fad and people buy a vest off the internet just so they can take their dogs into stores and other places pets can’t go. I will put more information on my service dog page regarding this sad issue. I want to become an advocate not only for people with real Service Dogs, but also for businesses.

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